February 2012
14 posts
emmachristinexo asked: so i totally have a jewish problem (not like a post though) i thought maybe you could help me with. so my boyfriend is always making rude remarks about me being jewish. like "oh it's good to be reminded you're not dating me for the money" and "it's because you're jewish" (he said he was broke so he couldn't pay for me but i said it was fine because i...
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SUBMIT • להגיש • Tsushteln →
Seriously, there aren’t any submissions and I’m super busy and need help. Toda raba!
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Jewish Peovlem #145
Neighbor calls lox “Jewish sushi.”
girlargueswithtree asked: "what's your name?" and they weren't sure of your gender
mothershoulditrustyou asked: ma hashem shelach/shelcha?
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Jewish Problems #144
Wallet is too heavy from all the change.
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Jewish Problem #143
It’s impossible to keep track of every Jewish holiday.
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ewrecktion:
In Seventh Grade this kid told the class he was throwing a “Bark Mitzvah” for his dog so me and my friends beat him up
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Passover is coming up soon.....
yerushalayimshelzahav:
Must eat all the bread I can find.
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Jewish Problem #142
Temple, synagogue, or shul?
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Jewish Problem #141
Mixing up Hebrew with other languages.
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Jewish Problem #140
Write a shin. It looks like a broken menorah/chanukiah.
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Jewish Problem #139
Identifying other Jews by their last names.
January 2012
15 posts
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When you are standing at an airport in Switzerland and the woman next to you turns and says, “Oh my god you are wearing the same Chai as I am! My parents gave it to me for my 18th birthday.” Then you look at her necklace, see it is yours, and say “My grandparents got it for me for my 18th birthday. What a small world!”
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Jewish Problem #138
Jewish grandmother forces Jewish guilt on you by informing you that their friends’ sons are “lawyers and doctors and rabbis” while you’re just a shmuck with no prospects.
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When your girlfriend went to the URJ camp that your favorite person’s husband was the director at while your girlfriend was a camper. Then he was a director at your URJ camp.
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that awkward moment...
When people think “Jewish” is your nationality…
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Jewish Problem #137
“You’re Jewish AND German? Isn’t that like, an oxymoron?”
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A radio station that plays christmas music 24/7 during the holidays decides that on the first night of Hanukkah they will play the one Hanukkah song they have at 3am when no one is awake to hear it.
miss-sass18 asked: Its so nice to see this blog. I am surrounded by very strict Christian people in my city, and it's become so difficult to stay connected with no youth groups around for support. So thank you! Always proud to be Jewish.
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Jewish Problem #136
Lots of controversy about interfaith dating. Little to no discussion of intra-faith dating. (Reform and Orthodox, Ashkenazi and Sphardi ect…)
Loads of controversy over interfaith dating. Little-to-no discussion of intrafaith dating (Reform and Orthodox, etc.).
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Jewish Problem #135
“But your hair isn’t frizzy, and your nose is normal.”
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New Submissions!
Shalom, chaverim! After hjordis responded to Jewish Problem #134 by suggesting kosher people without kosher families try eating veggie burgers, thejewishhippiewithabeard suggested that people start submitting solutions to Jewish problems.
Well, you heard the dude—let’s have ‘em! You can submit solutions for posted Jewish problems, or for problems that have not been posted. Regular...
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Jewish Problem #134
Become kosher in college. Your family eats ham, shrimp, and cheeseburgers regularly.
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Jewish Problem #133
People doubt your Jewish identity because you have a non-Jewish last name. Must resist urge to discuss diaspora politics, assimilation, and/or that only one parent is Jewish.
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Jewish Problem #132
Literally dozens of ways to refer to G-d. Everyone insists theirs is the only way and that everyone else is a wrong, YAHWEH-less heathen.
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Jewish Problem #131
You feel somewhat guilty for enjoying and celebrating the secular New Year more than Rosh Hashanah.
December 2011
74 posts
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Orders of Business
The theme changed! I didn’t like that the old theme gave away my secret identity.
Now that Channukkah is over, the queue may stop/be severely slowed down for a while. I haven’t gotten very many submissions, and I’d like to preserve the few I have for the new year. I’m also going through some personal issues and won’t be on Tumblr as often anymore.
592...
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Jewish Question #1
Which summer camp did/do you attend?
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On the eighth night of Channukkah, my bubbe gave...
eight candles burning
seven maccabees fighting winning
six latkes frying
five sufganiyot
four bags of gelt
three confused goyim
two dreidels spinning, and
a bagel with cream cheese!
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On the seventh night of Channukkah, my bubbe gave...
seven maccabees fighting winning
six latkes frying
five sufganiyot
four bags of gelt
three confused goyim
two dreidels spinning, and
a bagel with cream cheese!
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JEWCY: There's No Such Thing As a Hanukkah Bush →
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On the sixth night of Channukkah, my bubbe gave to...
six latkes frying
five sufganiyot
four bags of gelt
three confused goyim
two dreidels spinning, and
a bagel with cream cheese!
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